Mom, I can't believe your still awake......

One of my boys said to me last night, "Mom, I can't believe your still awake!"  It was 11pm.  I am usually in bed by 9.  And that is pushing it.  I feel so much better.  I have more energy.  I don't feel weighted down and tired and sad.  I feel good that I am eating good things.  I can only imagine how great it is going to be when I have lost this "extra person" that I am carrying around. 
I have been thinking a lot about why I have gotten to this point.  I have been on so many diets, spend hundreds and hundreds of dollars trying different weight loss programs.  I would lose 15-20 and then give up.  Then I would gain that back plus 10-20.  I don't feel like the person I see in the mirror.  I don't want to let another year go by and miss so much of life.  No more.

  I am at the end of month 3. I have lost 16.6 pounds.   I wanted to be a little farther along.  But I am not going to dwell on it.  This is a long journey and I am not quitting. Wait, I still have till Sunday.  I might just make it to the 20 pound mark.....We'll see.  No, never mind, its bloat up time, I will be happy with making my 5% goal.  That I WILL accomplish.

Goals for this next week.  Move more.  I have committed to WALK my first 5K.  It is in a little over a month.  I can walk 2 miles right now.  So, I have a little work to do .  Thank you to my friend with the same name, lol, for encouraging me to do this and for my sweet daughter and son-in-law for signing up too.  It is going to be fun.  We will have to take some photos.  Hopefully , they won't be of me passed out on the side of the road.......lol.
Let do this.....

My support

Well , after falling off the wagon, it is time to get back on it.  Good thing it is still here and not half way to who knows where.  I was ready to quit, giving up.   I was on the computer looking up how to cancel, my wonderful husband said, "What are you doing?"

Busted.....I had been caught.  "I give up", I said.  "No you don't", he said.  Then he just looked at me.  With that look.  That look that was filled with love, compassion and understanding.  He knows how bad I want this for ME.  He is not letting me give up.  He gently pushes me back on that wagon.  He lets me know that a short time of being off is not the end.  I can do this .  I am worth it.  

Thank you.   To my wonderful husband.  For being the right kind of supportive.  For loving me know matter what size I wear.   And for lovingly reminding me that I can do this. 

Support is so critical.  My boys are even learning.  They get the sweets out of my sight!  When I say that I want something gone by the next day, they take care of it for me. 
I have wonderful friends and family members that keep me going too.  I am grateful for all the support I am getting.  I could not do this without it.

Thank you.

Now, lets do this.

falling off the wagon

To me it seems inevitable.  Two months of staying on track and doing so good.  Then, the temptations take control.  I say, its okay, lets just enjoy the weekend and get back on track on Monday.  But then, without realizing it, or just not caring, the joy of just eating whatever, takes over.  And before you know it, I can't stop.  Then , I decide to make cookies for my missionary.  I think I ate a dozen cookies worth of dough......So much for portion control.  Then, here comes the thoughts in my head.  Just be happy.  Enjoy.  Eat whatever you want.  It is so good.  You tried.  It didn't work.  This is just too hard........and so on and so on and so on........
                                               Wait.....hold on.........
This is not what I want.  I want to lose more weight.  I want to be free of this.  I want to keep up with my family.  I don't want to be a grandma that sits in her chair.  Not yet.  I am not giving in .  I will face this head on.  I will get my big butt up and go back to my meeting and get inspired.  I will do whatever it takes to get back to it.  I don't like this heavy, bloated, yucky feeling.  I feel so tired and blah.  I hate this...............I am the one that chose to give in.  I chose to put that food in my mouth.  I chose.  Me.... I have no one else to blame.  Not my boys, who eat 24/7.  Not my hubby, who loves me dearly and just wants me to be happy.  No one else.    JUST ME.

Its time to get rid of all the excuses.  Its time to get real with myself.  Its time to make better choices, the right choices.  This is about ME. 

I am going to do this.

End of month 2!

February is not a good month to be eating healthy.  I did good.  I didn't have to bake for my boys, I found a bake sale.  That was wonderful.....But I did go out to eat with hubby and some friends and I splurged on cheesecake.  If you are from Texas and you have ever been to Del Frisco's then you know exactly what I am talking about.   The cheesecake.  It is better than ANY other cheesecake I have ever had.  Thankfully I only eat it once or twice a year.....lol....
I am happy with my progress.  Not only with the numbers on the scale and tape measure, but I am happy that I am finally able to resist the temptations that are before me..  Most of the time.....I love the program I am on.  I am learning about portions, my surroundings, and being prepared for my hectic schedule.  I have baggies full of fruits and veggies ready so I can grab one and run out the door.  That has saved me.  Baby carrots and I have become an item.   I love that they are crunchy and I can munch, munch, munch, on them.

Drum roll please................
                                    Month 2 Stats
weight lost      16.2
waist              -6 inches
hips                -2 inches
arms              -1.5 inches
bust               -2.5 inches
thighs           -1 inch

I am happy with that.  What will I do in March.  Walk more, drink more water and eat more carrots.....

lets do this

Wow...is all I can say.

I have had 2" wow" moments this week!
    The first one when I weighed in.  Another 3.2 pounds gone.  Wow.  And I even ate half of a( sam's size) bag of doritos ......Just had one of those days.
     The second one when I learned about portion sizes.   Portion size, what the heck.  I grew up believing that a  cereal bowl was the biggest one you could find, even if it was a mixing bowl.  And not to mention an ice cream bowl...........  Who knew......Some new things I have discovered is that I am not the only one who has this wrong.  Food manufacturers are even making their portions larger.  You can't assume anymore.  Chicken breasts, for example.  A "regular" portion is 3 oz.  I have found that the one's I have been getting are 4 or more.  It doesn't  sound like a lot , but it matters is your keeping track.  I am learning a lot about portion sizes and tricks for mealtime.  Like, when you make meatloaf, use a muffin pan.  Fill the muffin cups with your meatloaf and you will have your portions already to go.  Good for me.  Then I can freeze the left overs and have lunches.....If they ever were any leftovers....  I have baggies in my fridge with carrots, cauliflower, etc.  Then, when I am running out the door, I grab one.  I can munch all I want.  It has been a real life saver. 
     I have found that when I have a snack, if I eat a piece of fruit or a handful of carrots, then I am ok with one snack instead of 2 or 3.  Its helping me stay happy....
      My wonderful husband knows how much I love goodies.  He stumbled upon a new treat that I love and it tastes great.  The Blue Bell frozen fruit bars.  I have the peach ones, and I love them.  Its like eating frozen peaches.  Wonderful.
    I am doing good, staying on track, enjoying fruits and veggies.  I can hardly wait till the good ole watermelon is in season.  I am anticipating spring and summer fruits....yum...
    lets do this-
      

November 2012

This is a photo of me with my hubby and one of my children.  I am at the biggest I have ever been.  This is the last year I will ever be this big.   Lets do this......

The dreaded scale

I hate the scale.  I saw a clip of a reality show where the family was weighing in.  When the mom got on the scale it said "E."  My scale does that to me.  The thought that comes to my mind is....elephant.....Sorry but that is what I thought of.  This week, week 5, I maintained.  That made me happy though.  I started exercise this week and was afraid that I would have gained.  I know I have gained muscle.  I can feel the difference in my legs and hiney.  So that made me happy.  I have decided to stay away from my scale and just focus on the weigh in scale.  I find comfort in  knowing that its the same time of day , same day each week.  I just need to remember not to eat beans on weigh in day....lol....
My first month showed some good results.  12.6 pounds, 4.5 inches gone from my waist, 1 inch in thighs, 1 inch in arms, and 1 in bust.....(sorry honey)  I am happy with my results and look forward to the next months results.
It is getting easier.  I am finding that I don't crave certain things as much.  I did find a new indulgent, strawberries with melted sugar free chocolate icing.  It's the bomb.  I am very grateful to a wonderful lady who lost on the same program and has been an inspiration to me.  She loaned me her recipe book.  So I have been busy converting it and organizing my own cookbook.  When I do my menu for the next 2 weeks, I will be starting recipes from this.  My family won't know they are low fat.  Just that they taste wonderful. 
This is my journey.  Hard as it may be.  The end no where in sight. But I can and I will do this.  With the help of prayers, family, friends and my group.